This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
