I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
