last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
