apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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