I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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