Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
