I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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