so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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