Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
