A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
