I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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