my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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