C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
