I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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