you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
