Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
