lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
