I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
