The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
