this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
