the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
