So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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