Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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