So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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