Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
