That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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