I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
