I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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