You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I understand Curling. That high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
