I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
