Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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