Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
