do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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