Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
