I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I love you. Go after that dick
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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