You're a womanizer and a bitch.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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