Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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