those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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