honey bunches of taint.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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