we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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