i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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