conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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