you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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