Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
