forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
