Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
