No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
