fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
