Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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