so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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