all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Two words: blizzard sex
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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