So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
